completelycrazy | week 4 - austria

[Being trapped here together though, Austria admits that within herself something towards Prussia changed. Prussia was still of course annoying, irritating, impossible and endlessly foolish!!

But. Prussia had somehow managed to surprise her. Promising to do everything she could to get Austria home safe. Helping her with survivalist tasks Austria didn't understand and encouraging her to not just sit in her hut sulking about their situation. Asking her to play music for her, even though it wasn't to her tastes. Gathering dandelion roots to make Austria coffee when she was in her worst moods. Staying with her that night before the trial when Austria was most afraid and lost. Trying to get her to stand up and fight in her last moments, despite the inevitable ending of Joshua's trial.]

If I were a person ... I would be afraid to open my heart for it to be broken again.

[Because this isn't a marriage or a union where the person Austria loved was forced to leave her. This would be a relationship between two consenting parties with no political strings attached.]

Edited 2017-08-31 21:23 (UTC)

[He shrugs. Feelings changing in two weeks does sound a bit dramatic to him too, but he's working with the info he's got.] I don't know what to tell you. This island has been a wild ride for all of us. Maybe she rethought her priorities.

[But that doesn't really solve Austria's problem. Not that he's in any position to be giving relationship advice... What the hell is he doing here, exactly?]

You don't think being with Prussia would be different?

[It would be different. That's the problem. It would be a purely emotional relationship that she, Austria: the person, would be pursuing. It's reminiscent of how honest she was with her feelings in her youth and frankly the idea of being so honest and personal with someone else after centuries of forcing herself into being how she is now... terrifies her.]

...

If you want me to believe in such a thing, then she has to tell me herself.

[Austria realizes that Prussia not being dead complicates things in this respect, but. She's been around for a thousand years. She can wait a few weeks longer.]

[Well, that's fair. This feels like progress, at least.]

I'm sure she will once she's, uh. Here. [Which he's hoping happens soon?? But man, it's weird and perhaps uncool to wish that your friend would hurry up and die already. It's not really dying, though, so... It's probably fine????

Newt will be wrestling with these weird feelings for the remainder of the game so may as well shelve that for now!!]

Did she end up coming to see you, by the way?

She... did.

[He cracks a smile.]

Told you she would. And I'm telling you now. [He nudges her with his arm.] She'll fill you in next time you see her.

[Austria's cheeks flush, her heart suddenly pounding loudly in her chest--]

[--god it's like she's that weak little girl from her youth all over again?

And after Prussia explicitly told her not to get attached too. Why is she like this? Why is she always like this?!

She only ever gets hurt in the end! They only ever get sick of her or leave her or forget about her entirely!]

['You don't think being with Prussia would be different?']

...

[It's practically silly... how much she'd like that to be true.]

Edited 2017-09-08 03:09 (UTC)

[Austria hugs herself tightly, suddenly feeling very vulnerable.]

If you're so sure then...

I'll leave my heart ajar for her.

[Yes. Newt has done a good job here.]

That's all I'm asking. Thanks, Aus. [...] I was only sort of kidding before, y'know. Prussia's, um, pretty cool. I could see us, like... [He shrugs.] I don't know. It doesn't matter. Point is, you like her, and I know she likes you. No sense in that going to waste. You'd be cute together.

[tl;dr he ships it.]

[Newt nothing about that was very confidence inspiring.]

Er... ah.

Danke?

[This would be a lot easier to deal with if Prussia was actually around. It would settle this Newt or Austria thing relatively simply.]

You were also... I guess. [mumble mumble]

[He's doing his best okay this "being moderately less than super selfish" thing is a totally new concept for him???

He tilts his head, squinting at her.]

I was what?

I mean.

Ah.

I could see why. You would. Be ...desirable.

[Squinting intensifies!!! But also, he's smiling.]

Oh yeah? [It's a little surprising, but then again, he and Prussia do have some things in common.

But, this is cute, so he's going to milk it a bit.] Are you saying I had a shot?

[Austria looks incensed again.]

Y-you! You certainly make more sense! Than me!

[How can she possibly compete with someone who is a doctor six times over, saved the world, likes all Prussia's music and is German?! Of course Newt has a shot! It feels like Austria's firing with a pellet gun while Newt has a tank!!

It wouldn't surprise her in the slightest if Prussia bursted in right now, completely ignored Austria entirely and jumped into Newt's tatted arms.]

[Ahh! Newt puts his hands up defensively.]

Oh my god, I was kidding! And I meant with you!

[What a disaster!!!]

[Austria didn't even consider that as an option.

Not because of him of course, she. Well. Yes. Of course she likes Newt!!]

...

[Why would he even be considering a shot with herself. She never thought about it before.]

Edited 2017-09-09 14:50 (UTC)

I never thought about it. I... well. That you could like me... like that even if I did like you.

After.

Things.

Were said.

[Austria wasn't going to bring it up because she wasn't holding it against him for thinking of her like that. She didn't mean to hurt anyone she was... just trying to help them really. They'd all die if they kept doing what they were doing. Then at some point she realized it didn't matter in the end, it was always going to be like this from the beginning. So.

It was just easier for every one else to embody their vitriol and make it like there was nothing worth missing to begin with.]

Edited 2017-09-09 15:05 (UTC)

[And back to squinting.]

What things? [...] Did I say something to Prussia? And why do you have such a hard time believing that other people could have feelings for you? You're plenty desirable, too.

I-I know I'm desirable! [She has poor reading vision, but she's not blind.] It's- not. Not the concept of being desired in general that baffles me! Just from you in particular!!

When you have so much in common with her-- and! You thought I was so malicious as to actively try to hurt all of you as I was being sentenced to death!!

Edited 2017-09-09 19:50 (UTC)

[For the first time ever Newt is going to stop and carefully consider his feelings before jumping headfirst into a response? Look what you've done to him, Austria.]

I have a good time hanging out with you. Prussia's great, and you're right, we have a ton in common, but as much as you two keep comparing yourself to each other, I don't really think of it that way. Maybe a little, but that's because you remind me of Hermann. You're way cooler than him, though. [He shrugs.] You're fun and nice and interesting to talk to, and you're like the only person I can make music with. Why wouldn't you be desirable?

[Except, oh. He immediately remembers what she's talking about. Yeah, that... probably didn't leave the best impression. That was the last time they spoke before she died, too. Ugh. He really screwed that up.]

I, um... [Of all of the many social things he is terrible at, apologizing is definitely the thing he sucks at most.] Nine hours in that stupid longhouse screaming at each other and getting nowhere... None of us were exactly at our best in the eleventh hour, y'know? Nobody knew what to think. But I did, uh, I figured out what you were doing later. After the trial, once I had a chance to clear my head.

[He pauses. She understands, right?

Mm. But he still feels crappy about it. What if she really had died after that? Like, permanently? And that was the last thing he'd said to her. That's what he thought had happened for the week between their deaths, after all. That's how it typically works.

He sighs.]

That's not... I mean, when you put it that way, it sounds--[Bad? Yeah, Newt, it's bad. Try again.]

I didn't think that, not exactly, but... Well, yeah, I guess I doubted you. I couldn't understand why you were doing what--I mean, like I said, I figured it out later, but that wasn't until, um. It was too late by that point. And that stupid cat had already taken you away, and we didn't get a chance to talk again...

[He trails off, picking at his nails.]

Whatever. I guess none of that matters. I'm sorry. I should've trusted you.

week 4 - austria - graveyard, tuesday

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1/2 look what you've done to me this is your fault

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