week 4 - caren - saturday, post-trial

[completelycrazy]

[As soon as Newt is able to catch Caren alone, he taps her on the shoulder and waves for her to follow him into the bookstore. Time for some privacy.

He's too fried from the trial to waste any time. So:]

You asked Max to send a hint to a trustworthy Player about the identity of a Reaper, didn't you?

Comments

[completelycrazy]

I know. I... [He laughs, even though it could not be less funny.]

But I don't know what that means. Max told us that all Reapers were dangerous to the Players, but... I'm... I don't know what to think anymore.

[He swallows, doing what he can to hold himself together.]

You can call me Newt, by the way.

[sexorcism]

... I don't know either, but they were better to us than the ones that killed. [She laughs, too, humorless. Laughs don't even sound natural in her voice normally.] I told Chuuya Madara was suspicious based on half-baked evidence. You aren't the only one who may have made a misstep; and yet played the game it was meant to be played.

But, doctor... [It's a little raw, still, after weeks in which Chuuya had tried so hard to get her to use only his first name] ... Newt, it's probable that you will die soon because of this.

[completelycrazy]

[He's laughing again. Leave it to Caren to point out the hard truths, honestly.]

I know. I know. If Monika and Izaya don't dismember me next week, it's gonna be the Reapers. I'm a dead man either way.

[His eyes drop to the ground for a moment, trying not to think too hard on what he's just said. He will die, and it will not be a merciful death. Not by any stretch.

But he can't think about that right now.]

I'm sorry that you're going down over nothing. That's... Well, it's bullshit.

[sexorcism]

I would not be able to stay Monika's hand, even if I try. She couldn't have stayed mine, either. [She might not have done it even if she could have. It isn't that she has any hard feelings for either of them, even she's always been a pragmatist about the competition, about doing the most possible in the shortest amount of time.

After a moment's hesitation, she extends a hand to him, palm up, as if to offer it to hold in comfort.]

Do not feel sorry. As far as I am concerned, I can see the sequence of events that led to this. I expected to die tomorrow; Miki Kuroda was just an unexpected step in the stair.

[completelycrazy]

[He glances back up to find her hand. Hm. Is it possible, he's met someone even more terrible at comfort than he is? That's probably what makes the gesture that much more endearing. He takes her hand, squeezing it tightly.]

It's alright. I've got what's coming to me, I guess. [Maybe if he keeps spitting out casual remarks about his inevitable death, he will start to believe them?]

Um... You said you would've acted the same if you'd found the same information earlier. What's changed?

[sexorcism]

[She continues to hold his hand until she's ready to let go, at which point she'll easily claps her hands back together again.]

Time, I fear, was not on our side this week. More so than normal, that is. There's so much I think we might have known, if only we had a few more days. I wish I had more concrete answers to leave behind in my death.

There's something strange about the game we're being expected to play here and the outcome the Reapers desire. I am not a vengeful person, but rather than all Reapers, I am currently more disavowing of the group inclined to kill us. At least one of them acts as though killing is such a hardship, and yet, we keep on dying.